So it's been a while since I've written a post, yeah yeah I know. Now simmer down my loves because I have some interesting thoughts. Along with my inability to drag my butt onto here and type up some well rounded thoughts for you all, I have also been unable to find a possible soulmate..wait let me correct that just to take some pressure off of this thought; correction: potential mate. It has been approximately about 9 months since I have had a boyfriend. 9 whole damn months. I want to be clear, I am not hideous looking, or so I'd like to think, so I'm not clear as to the possible reasons why I am still "on the market". Possible reason #1.) I do not attract the men I am attracted to. #2.) I am too picky. #3) I really am hideous OR possiblity #4.) I am subconsciencely possessing traits that would push all potential suitors as far away as possible. Could this be a defense mechanism that sublimely just occured after my devastating last breakup? I have no clue but it is starting to irritate me because though it has not been 9 months since I have gotten some action, it has been a LONG time, nonetheless...And I simply do not want to lose my mojo. Now on the note of desiring a relationship, regardless if it is for the future aspect or the intimacy aspect, I have recently become aware again of all the crazy dramactical heartaches that seems to follow this "love" that we are all searching for. I read an entire entry, with horrible grammatical errors, today on how one of my acquaintences' "homegirl" slept with her "baby daddy" when she was out of the country. WOW, now that's some Jerry Springer shit. Then another one of my acquaintences recently got dumped by her long distance boyfriend, reasons unclarified. I know how bad that one hurts; it's so damn close to the heart. Its hard to hold onto a long distance relationship and it sucks when it doesn't work out because you then just became a statistic. It sucks to know that you're stronger and want something more than your spouse. Oh well, life goes on. With all these discrepancies in our journey for love, I begin to rethink my initial thoughts on this subject; am I actually the lucky contestant that doesn't have to deal with the weakness, unloyalty and betrayal? But if that is the case then why do I feel so incomplete sometimes? Only God knows I guess and with that only God can judge me and last night when I was in deep conversation with him, he told me I was the shit! (: So goodnight and PEACE!!!
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