somethings will never change...it makes you who you are.

1.) Family is one of the most important things to me, and it pains me to know that I'll never feel like I have a complete one...2.) I'm tough on the outside, but I'm really all mushy, and gooey on the inside.3.) When I love, I love deeply but don't ever take advantage of that, you'll regret it later on, on your own.4.) I believe in God. All Gods. I have faith in him/her/them and I know I will overcome all obstacles that are thrown my way.5.) My inner circle is very selective, but once you're in, you're in.6.) I tend to smile, even when I want to cry. Because I'm a soldier.7.) I'm stubborn, I will not deny and my pride gets the best of me.8.) I'm lazy but I'm also extremely hardworking. I'm a total oxymoron.9.) I can lay in bed all day, everyday with the person I love without any regrets.10.) I hate waking up early in the mornings, but I can't seem to sleep earlier at night.11.) Music soothes my soul. I treat it as neosporin for the scratches and scrapes of life.12.) I don't like overly excessive public displays of affections, but I love sneak attack kisses.13.) I want to do too much with my life, and one of my fears is that I won't be able to accomplish all of it.14.) I think everyone's life is like a movie; they just have to realize it and hollywoodfy themselves. Live a little.15.) I feel trapped in this city and I can't wait to fly free.16.) I love knowledge, philosophy and the grasp of empathetic openmindedness.17.) I believe in fate, but I know we have partial control. It's 50% destiny & 50% mindset.18.) I will probably never find "THE PERFECT GUY" but I'm sure I'll find "my perfect guy" one day, someday.19.) I want to live out all of my dreams, even if my dreams are always in HD IMAX screens. 20.) I will one day write a book.21.) I love dinner dates, movie nights, karaoke & life chats.22.) I hate "make out" sessions. I just don't find it a "turn on". I'd much rather have giggles, pecks, & "take your breath away" moments.23.) Happiness is #1 in my books.24.) I pray to both Buddha & the Lord at night. And there's a phrase that is always the same, everynight.."please bless my friends, my family, my acquaintences and everyone I've met today...."25.) Respect is big, very big; bigger than the big bang, BIG.


you know who thinks the world of me..remember?! Yeah, He thinks I'm the SHIT! Goodnight&GodBless!!!

uneccessarily high.....level of stress.

Damn, I am a slacker. Sorry for the days upon days of no updates. Life has been throwing me some weird kind of lemons...Yes, I am talking about lemons again, and NO, I will not write another WHOLE entry about lemons and lemonade. Jesus! Who do you think I am? A lemonade stand?! I assure you I am not. Anywho, so as you all may or may not know, I am happily employed at this gorgeously extravagant office on Bellaire Blvd., called Fidelity National Title Insurance Company, well just to update, I have been offered another job. Yes, ANOTHER job. I have been offered a position to work with the district representative for district 149 in Houston, Texas. It's a salaried position, $24,000 a year, which is pretty good considering that all I have is a highschool diploma, and a mediocre amount of college hours. I would get health benefits after three months with paid holidays and tons of experience opportunities. Well tell me why, I haven't jumped on this offer like most 20 year olds would? Please tell me because I'm trying to figure that out myself. Well with the job comes a GINORMOUS amount of responsibility and all that, "representing a district representative" crap. I'm not sure if I'm so down with that. I do A LOT of stupid shit and I know it, so this might be setting myself up to be rediculed. Not very bright in my book. What are the chances of being offered a once in a lifetime chance when the economy is in such a downhill spiral? Changing from a job that I love to one that I might not even be able to stand isn't settling too well in my mind, stomach or heart. The most important thing to me is obviously "happiness" so taking this position may or may not be an amazing opportunity for my future, but it may or may not also be the death of my "happiness". Yeah...great! And then on top of all this career/future/happiness crap, mister ex-love-of-my-life decides to actually email my bffl back and creates even more frustration with his crappy answers to my indirect questions. I need to just be done with it, say "fuck you, because you done fucked me", and run. Run until I've reached the ends of the Earth. This is so fucking pathetic. Even God thinks I'm pathetic, that's why he's just toying with my little squooshed up heart. Speaking of God..he thinks I'm the shit. Goodnight&PEACE!..

life's quirky mysteries...

So I said I'd write yesterday but I got a little lazy so I am forcing myself to stay awake and give ya'll something new to giggle and "amen" about, so on that note, it's just going to be a quick one tonight, sorry loves. Random bruising..yeah, I remember leaving off on that note on Friday so I guess I'll pick up from there. Don't you hate it when you find random bruises on your body and you have absolutely no idea where they came from? I somehow find crazy bruises on randome parts of my body that I cannot recollect where or when I had received them. I know it wasn't some ghetto cat fight or kinky sexpeditions; so where would they be coming from? Sometimes I wonder if I'm a sleepwalker and have not know, and if so, what kind of crazy adventures do I go on, half sleeping, to receive these beautiful black and blue marks all over my body. If it was kinky sex, I would have no problem admitting to the bruises. I mean I'm all down to point to a black&blue and just be like, "yups, that's from the pink handcuffs we broke in last night" but that would be a lie. Or if I were to honestly say "yeah I punched that bitch in her nose and she managed to swing at my chin", I would have no hesitation on continuing the story, but once again, that would be a lie. So where oh where do theses random bruises come from? What kinky dreams do I have at night? Or better yet, what sleepwalking rendezvous might I be having deep in the mysteries of the night? I seriously need to tape myself for a week, and attempt in discovering the answers. What type of life mysteries do you guys encounter? Any mysterious bruising or on of my all time favorites, the disappearance of socks and panties. Yeah, another life mystery. If you feel the urge, please comment and let me know that I'm not alone. (: I'd greatly appreciate it and I'm sure I'd get a great laugh out of life's mysteries. On that note, I need to sleep. I have and early start in the morning. Remember, only God can judge me and..he thinks that I'm the shit! Goodnight and PEACE!..

patience is a virtue..

Patience is so much of a virtue that the lack of it nearly makes me seem immensely indecent. For example, I'm attempting to wash and dry my sheets because it has been two weeks since the last time that I have done so and it makes me feel dirty. On the other hand, I'm super tired and all I want to do is nap. Now all I can think about is how I wish I were able to cut the wash time shorter in order to dry my sheets and nap. Though, if I were to cut the wash time shorter, my sheets would not be as clean as they would be if I would just leave the washing machine alone to do it's job. So I have a choice, 1.) let my brain and body suffer by straining it further and wait for the washer and dryer to complete it's jobs OR 2.) cut the wash and dry time by half and take a nap on not so clean sheets. Filth or exhaustion? Which one would you choose? Speaking of which I should go check on the sheets and place them into the dryer...3...2...1. Booooo, it is still spinning. The washer tells me "6 minutes" but I believe that that's a lie because the wash was only suppose to be "52 mins", and I put them in at 6:20ish-pm? It is now 7:53pm. Less than an hour my ass. The dryer is supposed to take 1:02, which will (if on-time), make my nap time begin at..oh shit, numbers, FML. No wait, I can do this! You take the seven and carry the two, divide by fifteen and I will nap at....9:15pm. Yes, 9:15pm. No, I'm not stupid, and yes I can add and subtract; and yes, I know that would make it 8:59pm, but it will take me 16mins to put the sheets on the bed and get snuggled up in it. OH! I hear the beeper tone, even though it doesn't beep, it goes more like "doo dee doo, doo dooo dooo dee doo". Time to go put it in the dryer! SWOOSH...andddd I'm back.

Enough of my "issues", next subject; so last night I decided that I want to download a movie to watch and so I did. I went to http://www.thepiratebay.com/ and decided to watch "Drag me to Hell". I'm a horror fanatic, only because I still have not found a film to scare the living jeebies out of me yet. When I do, that will be the day my horror streak ends. Anywho, this movie didn't sound too promising when I first saw the previews in theatres and I decided that I didn't want to waste my money or my time on such a film. But recently when I went to my underground movie site to look for a decent film to watch, I read plenty of good reviews for "Drag me to Hell", and what really intrigued me was the fact that person after person, commented on the ending being twisted and shocking. Curiousity got the best of me and so I decided to download it yesterday (hopefully there are no viruses, or I'd be pissed). I'm planning on scoping it out tonight and maybe I'll let you guys know what I think tomorrow. As soon as my sheets dry, I'm going to curl up into a ball and attempt to scare myself. And possibly giggle, or cry like a little girl.

Anyways my dog is being really weird. I don't know how to explain it, he's just in a really weird position that I always catch him in randomly. He sticks his butt into the air, and stretches forward and just freezes. HAHA, and for long periods of time at that! I must take images of him one day and post for you guys to get a good laugh. I'm looking for cute little oufits for him that are cheap, anyone have any recommendations? I don't want to be spending over $10 on a shirt for him. I think anything over $10 is rediculous. If you have any ideas, please let me know; he wears an XXS. Back to my indecency, I must now go stare at the dryer in hopes that it will get intimidated and work quicker. On that note, remember that only GOD can judge me and he thinks I'm the shit! Goodnight and PEACE!..oh and p.s., tomorrow's blog topic will be..you ready...RANDOM BRUISING!, yay!..okay really now, g'night&PEACE!..

BE A MAN!..

I've thought of so many things that I need to get off of my mind, so many issues but when it comes time for me to actually sit down and blog, I can't think of the topics that I've previously decided upon. Well anywho, luckily, just before I decided to blog, I ran into certain "comments" and "status" and "messages" that reminded me of a pet peeve that I wanted to share with you guys. I hate men who aren't "men". First off let me explain this before I go and piss off the, homosexual/transgender society. I have no problem with homosexual or transgender people, what I mean by men who aren't "men", I am refering to the heterosexual men who act like little pussy ass females. Dude seriously? And then they sit and try to figure out why the fuck girls don't like them. Well, newsflash you maggots, heterosexual women like men who are..well, MEN! Let me list the traits of a man who isn't a "man". 1.) Men who beg; oh dear God, I don't even know where to begin with this one. It is very irritating when a man continues to beg for something when a woman has already answered with a firm "no". Dude, don't you get it? "No means no", you know, like in law&order svu, when they talk about rape; "no means no", dammit! I think it's simple enough, have some dignity, some self respect, have somewhat of an ego, please? 2.) Men who obsess; please give me some room to breathe. Don't you dare call me every five minutes because I promise you, the next time that I see you, that phone will get accidentally thrown into a lake, or a swamp, or a pond, or the toilet, whichever one I find first. 3.) Men who nag/whine; I think this is somewhat connected to the previous one. Usually the men who obsess are the men who nag. I am the woman, let me nag, it's supposed to be in my nature, not yours. 4.) Men who have no balls; and no I do not mean physically. I just feel bad for the ones who don't have balls physically but I feel bad for myself to be around the ones who don't, metaphorically. Back to our basic instincts and traits, I'm a girl (you know the delicate flower, made of sugar and spice and everything nice), and you're the boy/man (you know the tough, "manly man", made up of snips and snails and puppy dog tails), so act it. I should not have more balls than you, ever. 5.) Men who are easy; just like how you guys like the chase, we do too. I want a man who has a little bit of a mystery to him. I need you to intrigue me, keep my attention, make ME beg for it a little; just as I will be doing to you. Keep the spice in my life.

I think that sums it up. This is something that I am constantly faced with, it's like an epidemic and no one wants to speak up about it. You guys always say that females "play too much" and that we never "keep it real", well boys, that's as real as it will ever get. Maybe if ya'll stop blaming us and actually sit and think about why we get bored so easily? That's why. People always talk about "dating like boys", well in all honestly, a lot of females date like men too. You guys like all those "games", so do we. Let's keep this shit on balanced fields now shall we? Everything you want, we want too. Let's make it happen and we'll all be happy. On that note, let me leave you off with a quote I read today that inspired me to write all this down, "I like a challenge, so challenge me. If I fight, fight me back. Know that I have my own mind.. and so should you. Nobody likes an easy girl...nobody likes an easy boy. Tell me when I'm wrong and admit when I'm right. Respect me, my actions, my words and feel free to argue as long as you kiss and make up, by the end of the night, but remind me as often as needed that you love me." Anyways, remember..only GOD can judge me and he thinks I'm the shit! Goodnight&Peace!

A.D.D much?!

Optimism..isn't that a good thing? How long can people stay optimistic for, when nothing seems to be changing? I mean seriously, is there like a record for that in the book of world records or something?! Give me some hope already. Cau Chin (a local psychic) told me that things are changing, watch out for this, and get ready for that. I know, I know, you're probably thinking, "A psychic? Now I really know this girl is one of those crazies", but I'M NOT!!! I swear. I mean, what's so bad about psychics anyways, they're there, they're making a living off of their "gift" and they're giving people either 1.) optimism or 2.) life lessons. It's not like they're holding out a sign doing nothing, they're giving you SOMETHING right? Whether it be moral support, or a dash of truth, or an ounce of caution, you're getting something! What's so bad? I mean worst case scenerio, you figure out they've weaseled you out of your entire life's savings and umm, you declare bankruptcy. Ehh, at least you didn't get hit by that one bus they told you to be aware of. You know, that one bus on that one street with the trees. Yeah that one. I'm not against psychics if they have a "donation" box, you give as you think they deserve. No fees. I like the "no fees" idea, whichever psychic came up with that idea, he/she's the man! I think any psychic that charges you "a fee" is a hoax and you should run. Anyways, I was reading over my entries yesterday and I realized how A.D.D. I was being, not that I have any control over being A.D.D. but I felt the need to apologize for the lack of forewarning. Sorry. My mind works in mysterious ways, like that movie, oh what was it again?...OH YEAH! A Beautiful Mind, minus the fact that I'm not schizophrenic, just a smidge A.D.D. Smidge, I like that word; I wonder why I've never heard many people use it. It's such a cute word, like quaint or dainty. I will begin to use them more often; maybe it will become a trend. People should catch on; I think I'm pretty cool. Definitely cool enough to be a trendsetter. Is this really the brain process of an A.D.D person? Should I go and get professionally diagnosed? Pshhh, why should I? I'm a psych major. I am definitely A.D.D.. So what happens if a NORMAL person, without A.D.D., think like this too? Would that illegitimize the A.D.D. diagnosis? Definitely hard hitting questions. Speaking of which, maybe an interviewer would be a more suitable career choice for me? Nah, I don't think that'd make enough money for me to live off of. When it all comes down to it, money matters. I don't care what kind of bullshit people will try to throw at me with the idealistic, "money doesn't matter", philosophy. Like I've stated, it's a load of crap. Money matters, and money can bring certain emotions and peace of mind that will directly result in happiness, so please do not ever tell me that money can't buy happiness. Maybe it can't directly buy happiness but it sure is directly connected to factors that will bring you happiness. Yeah. Think about that! Okay, that's enough of my disorder for tonight. Remember to continue following me because only GOD can judge me and he thinks I'm the shit! GOODNIGHT and PEACE!

DO NOT PROCEED..WARNING, ADULT LIFE SUCKS!

We've all heard that saying before right? You know that one with the lemons...now how did it go again?..OH YEAH! "When life gives you lemon, make lemonade." Yeah well in all honesty, I'm a damn optimistic person and all but that is such a load of crap. That's what the Disney filled craziness is trying to feed our youth today, no wonder why unemployment is so high and infidelity is through the sky scrapers. It's that "lemons make lemonade" crap. I mean seriously? I guess whoever came up with that quote didn't think about all the "lemons" that are actually rotten. I don't know about you but rotten lemonade is just, well..YUCK! I'm getting some pruney ass lemons right now and there is no way in hell that I am going to stand here and try to squeeze the 2 drops of juice out of them to make a glass of lemonade just to have someone else come along, when I'm not looking of course, and squish it down their throat. Wouldn't that piss you off? Man, that would tip off my cup. I'm sorry I'm so cynical today, I'm so incredibly stressed. I'm stuck in a financial crisis, yeah a real lemon! I can't complain, I made this bed so now I must learn to lay in it on my own but I wish there was some small, teeny weeny, itsy bitsy paragraph of small print that would've been like, "stop, credit will get f*cked up. do not proceed, you have no money. do not party, you will fail and do not fall for the lies, he will break you." Just the story of my damn life. Most girls want to "date like a boy", we've got songs and movies and blah blah, well I've been there and done that and in all honesty, boys suck. the end. I mean didn't we think that when we were 4 or 5 or something? Why the hell did we change our minds? Boys do suck. Who said kids were dumb, they're smart as heck, it's the adults that are stupid as hell. And sadly I'm a part of that percentage. Bloody hell. Life has to do with money, which has to do with math and math has to do with numbers huh? No wonder why I am failing life, NUMBERS are the death of me. We should make life equal to umm, english, which equals to reading, which in the end will result in NAPS!! How great would that be? Pretty damn awesome. It makes sense huh?!? I know! I should used that theory for my doctorate degree. Yeah, DOCTORATE. yeah... Okay time to go mourn my life, and your future life, and your face. Remember, only GOD can judge me and he thinks I'm the shit! goodnight and PEACE! (: